Rambling of the Day: A war on… men?

1 Dec

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Suzanne Venker has recently written an opinion piece for Fox News that has upset quite a few “strong” women. The article? “The war on men.” Venker explores the trend that shows women’s interest in getting married going up as men’s is decreasing. Seem weird? The reason, she says, is nearly always the same: “Women aren’t women anymore.” Here’s a quote that pretty well sums up the point:

In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy. Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs (Venker Article).

Now, if you’re one of those women who just, like, totally hates men cause they’re horrible, sex-obsessed, animalistic beasts, go find another website, because I’m sure I’m about to make you really angry.

Venker is right! She’s right because men are NOT equal to women. There, I said it. We are not the same. Our DNA is not programmed to make us want, feel, and do the same things.

Let’s back it up for a second and allow me to clarify. I do not think women need to be barefoot and pregnant and preparing dinner for their husbands by 6 p.m. every night. Anyone who knows me knows I’ve been working toward a career since I first discovered the world of the written word. I’ve had a job since I was 14 years old. I’m a 20-year-old working mother going to school full-time. I am by no means a kept woman.

But I am a woman. I put the desire to nurture, love, and care for my child miles ahead of my desire to make something of myself. And I don’t expect my significant other to behave the exact same way. Why? Because we’d be broke! And he’d be bored. He loves us both very much, of course, but his first instinct is not to cuddle up and sing lullabies all day long – it’s to provide.

Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them (Venker Article).

Why? Why do we have to feel like we’re exactly the same as men to feel worthy as women? And, perhaps more importantly, why do we act as though we can have it all, never questioning the consequences of the way we have destroyed and demonized gender roles? Women are the ones who want to get married! The Pew Research Center reports that since 1997, the percentage of women who say a successful marriage is one of the most important things in their lives rose from 28 to 37 percent. But this percentage dropped for men, from 35 to 29 percent. More women want to get married; less men do.

Since the dawn of time, men have been the providers. They have been the pillars of strength. They have had to work hard to earn the respect of other men, to advance their careers, to make something of themselves – ultimately, to provide for their families. That is not to say that women are not strong and can’t provide for their families, because they are and they can. But women who want successful relationships with men must understand the intrinsic needs of their partners. They are not programmed to lie down and allow the woman to do all the work. Back in the day they had a name for that kind of man – deadbeat. Nowadays, he’s just a “stay-at-home” kind of gentleman.

We have gone so far off track it is going to be incredibly difficult for a lot of women to figure out how to get what they want out of their lives and their relationships. It’s not about being better than men. It’s not about one-upping them. I mean, would you want to be with someone constantly trying to outdo you?

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